The biggest relapse of my life
On Friday the 19th of January of 2018 I impulsive took an overdose of my medication , a combination of Quetiapine and Promethazine , subsequently an ambulance was called and I were taken to Blackburn Hospital where I were monitored and transferred to a ward .
The following day I were assessed by two nurses from the crisis team , I explained to them I don’t know what happened I was really happy and then I came crashing down , I also explained to them that I’ve been hearing voices and having intrusive intense thoughts to harm and kill others and that I wish the overdosed had killed me , the two nurses said I needed to be placed on a section , but of course with it being the weekend their were no beds . So I jus had to stay on the ward under constant observation until their were bed availability , I couldn’t help feeling like a fraud sat amongst really sick elderly patients and in the knowledge that if their were a bed another really sick patient could of had mine , but I knew it wasn’t my fault , as the bed shortage crisis is just getting worse and worse each and every year .
On the ward at Blackburn I had stopped eating completely and began to vomit constantly , so i were prescribed nourishment drinks which can only be given by a qualified healthcare professional for those who are malnourished , have an eating disorder or are unable to eat solid food .
I’ve had a few self harming incidents .
I am still detained under the mental health act and I still want to end my life .
My diagnosis is that of Bipolar Disorder , emotionally unstable borderline personality disorder & anxiety . I over the past two or three years have also developed increasing anxiety surrounding food , and now because i want to die as a form of punishing myself it’s got to the point where I am not eating at all .
I will end this piece with the inspiration behind my blog & everything I do .
What it is like to be dual diagnosed , just like me 🏥😏
Can’t believe she’s a month old already it goes so quick. She’s turning her head & she’s started to smile & she’s been lifting her head up for the past week or so now . She’s doing really well & is very advanced for her age considering she should only b about a week old now . She’s gorgeous I’d do anything for her I nvr want to let her go wen I’m holding her 🙂 xx
Can’t believe how much I’ve achieved & how much my life has changed forever since becoming a Mum , it really is life changing but yet oh so rewarding 👶😊👶
Love Becky & Baby 😊👌😊
Transactional Analysis ….