Not again 

My Facebook page , which I also blog from .

I’ve recently noticed that my Bipolar goes in a continued cycle , and what I mean by that is , recently I’ve fallen somewhat mentally ill again these past few weeks , starting from just before my birthday (22/08/91) , I had a great birthday though , and it all came crashing down a week after my birthday , & I guess this prompted me to suddenly have the following lightbulb moment , it dawned on me that I am usually in hospital around the same months every year , just from memory I’ve had an admission , last March & also around March in 2014 & October , January & February this year and last Christmas , & I recall being in hospital twice in august but not this year . My most recent admission being May this year & a week ago I endure the 136 suite , I’m glad I’ve recognised this , every couple of months pattern , it may prove useful in the future . 

I’m still totally unsure why it all came crashing down shortly after my birthday , I were feeling very happy , had even secured my self some work , so I was feeling really proud of myself & generally happy , and were blissfully unaware of anything untoward or of any triggers that may of been coming my way . I guess thinking reflecting upon this , I was hurting as I was acheing to see my daughter on my Birthday , but apart from that nothing major , but none the less I crashed down with an almighty THUD , Whithin an hour or that happy , carefree , confident becky had gone , and I felt a sudden HIT of despair , suicidal feelings , paranoi , and I was hearing the odd voice or two  . 

I guess I’m unsure of what caused it this time because I guess that’s what bipolar does goes round and round in cycles , I were ill in March – May October -November mostly august , & sometimes January & may this year, all requiring a hospital setting to some extent .

And now I’m in the depressive phase . 

I’m interested to know other peoples Bipolar cycles , & coping strategies , as you can see at severe times of distress , I often resort to burning myself …

If you would like to share your story on how you cope with severe mood swings , then you can , 

email me @ rebbeccaclarvis@outlook.com .

Becky …

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Bipolar again ….

Hey everyone these past couple of days i haven’t felt very well at all with my emotionally unstable borderline personality disorder & my Bipolar disorder . I’m putting it down to my ex partner who is still living with me & that’s caused me a great deal of distress lately. Also my phone bill has been cut off , so I haven’t got any one to talk to , apart from him . I hate ringing the crisis team , but now I haven’t even got that option , so I’m just chilling, trying to take it easy ….

Much love ❤️ 

Happy blogging 

Becky