A positive day 🌼

Hey guys just a quick post 🙂

I hope everyone’s had a good start to the week so far ….


Everyday is a struggle to manage my mental health , but today has been a good day 🙂 #makeupday #noworkforme #chiledvibes 🙂👌🏾

Love Becky …

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Not again 

My Facebook page , which I also blog from .

I’ve recently noticed that my Bipolar goes in a continued cycle , and what I mean by that is , recently I’ve fallen somewhat mentally ill again these past few weeks , starting from just before my birthday (22/08/91) , I had a great birthday though , and it all came crashing down a week after my birthday , & I guess this prompted me to suddenly have the following lightbulb moment , it dawned on me that I am usually in hospital around the same months every year , just from memory I’ve had an admission , last March & also around March in 2014 & October , January & February this year and last Christmas , & I recall being in hospital twice in august but not this year . My most recent admission being May this year & a week ago I endure the 136 suite , I’m glad I’ve recognised this , every couple of months pattern , it may prove useful in the future . 

I’m still totally unsure why it all came crashing down shortly after my birthday , I were feeling very happy , had even secured my self some work , so I was feeling really proud of myself & generally happy , and were blissfully unaware of anything untoward or of any triggers that may of been coming my way . I guess thinking reflecting upon this , I was hurting as I was acheing to see my daughter on my Birthday , but apart from that nothing major , but none the less I crashed down with an almighty THUD , Whithin an hour or that happy , carefree , confident becky had gone , and I felt a sudden HIT of despair , suicidal feelings , paranoi , and I was hearing the odd voice or two  . 

I guess I’m unsure of what caused it this time because I guess that’s what bipolar does goes round and round in cycles , I were ill in March – May October -November mostly august , & sometimes January & may this year, all requiring a hospital setting to some extent .

And now I’m in the depressive phase . 

I’m interested to know other peoples Bipolar cycles , & coping strategies , as you can see at severe times of distress , I often resort to burning myself …

If you would like to share your story on how you cope with severe mood swings , then you can , 

email me @ rebbeccaclarvis@outlook.com .

Becky …

My world 🌎

I’m So #lucky to have this wee cute one 👇🏽in my life life 🐕 . Probably Not many of you will know this , but the one 👇🏽 & only reason why i got a dog was for the sole purpose of a #therapydog 🐶, not just because i simply wanted a dog , the idea just came to me in bed 1 day , while I was deteriorating with Ill mental health very rapidly at home while pregnant, I bought her on my Birthday nearly 3 years ago , we all know that stroking a pet makes us feel good , gives us that warm fuzzy feeling perhaps, Preliminary results from a study show that a few minutes of stroking our pet dog prompts a release of a number of “feel good” hormones in humans, including serotonin, prolactin and oxytocin , & even if your not usually a massive animal lover , they can provide a fantastic calming distraction for individuals suffering from #depression, #bpd , & more increasingly equine therapy has been proven to be very beneficial to those with a diagnosis of #ADHD & severe learning difficulties, & in particular #autism , & although she tests me @ times , as she likes to whine a lot at time , & she often takes forever to go for a 🚽 it was the best decision I’ve ever made 🐕😀👌🏾

When your mental health inadvertently effects your physical health …

When your mental health inadvertently effects your physical health ...

What happened tonight is a bit of a blur , as understandably so it's affected my memory . But during an angry psychotic episode a door fell full force on my head it's already off its hinges , so imagine the full force of the door just basically fell on me , the instant pain was such a shock to my system I fell to the floor . Anyway I rang 111 for advice , and they dispatched an Ambulance which  came & a sych nurse came & police man came who specialises in Mentak health , & they all checked me over in every way possible although I refused to go to urgent care . And The door 🚪 was already off its hinges but it was fixed in place so it couldn't move , I kicked the door , as i was impulsively angry during a  psychotic episode . And as I was putting the door back to its original place , the full door 🚪 , fell full force on top of me . The pain was that intense i was in shock n fell to d floor .

So I'm taking it very easy as my face jaw & head are in agony .

It's scary how quickly things have eacalatedb& how bad things have got , where I've now acquired two head injuries in less than 24 hours .


 



Happy blogging

Love Becky

Attempted Suicide & Self Harm in Personality Disorders …

I’m writing this article in light of the news that I have recently read of the Woman found hanged at Hull Mental Health Unit . I wasn’t a close friend as such , but we was both patients at the unit , at the same time , consequently forming some sort of bond during our stays as an inpatient  . I too am affected by this news & was crying over hearing how the The Humber NHS Foundation Trust , has let another patient (including me) down . As I’ve been an inpatient frequenting the units from my  teenage years to adulthood , I have a lot of empathy for these individuals , who now will never , have a voice , because they are now dead .

While been an inpatient i have witnessed a lot of things I’d rather not of witnessed, but I’m glad i did as i now have a better understanding.

A lot of improvements whithin the NHS have indeed been made , like the bold move several years ago to start to move & re brand Mental Health care in Hospitals . The aim was to gradually remove all Mental Health Wards out & away , from the typical clinical environment of a traditional hospital environment , & allow them to become & feel a lot less clinical , as we don’t need to see plain white walls , this isn’t a clinical situation , we are people with thoughts & feelings & we need to feel at ease & as comfortable as possible, while in this ,often scary & alienating environment.It is about tackling mental health together ,as a unit as one & as a whole , as a community even  . And the Hospital wards were also given a different name for example Ward 18 that once was inside Scunthorpe General Hospital , is now called Great Oaks  , a purpose built Mental Health Unit , as they are now called . And another similar example is ward 20 whithin Burnley General Hospital , which has now been renamed , to which it is now called Edisford Ward .

Now referring back to my 1st paragraph about a young woman who sadly hung herself at the Westlands Unit in Wheeler Street Kingston Upon Hull , East Yorkshire , served by the Humber NHS Fiundation Trust , with the Dr in charge who let us & im sure many others down , was Dr Akin .

Helen was a lovely women , kind , positive , helpful , bubbly , & anbitious , & clever too , going on to complete a 2:1 at The University of Hull & also being a auxiliary nurse . 

She will be deeply missed by her husband & of her family & friends .

In an extract took from the news article Women found hanged at Hull Mental Health Unit

‘Loving and caring’ Helen Millard found hanging at Hull mental health unit .

GREATLY MISSED: Helen Millard was found hanging in a bathroom at a Hull mental health unit despite staff knowing she was tying ligatures around her neck up to four times a day, an inquest heard .

Helen Millard, 30, was reduced to hourly observations at Westlands, run by Humber NHS Foundation Trust, despite being under constant observation when she was first admitted and for 90 days during a previous admission.

Helen had made a ligature which staff had taken from her hours before she was found hanging in the bathroom .

Her husband Jon told the inquest: “I know nothing can bring Helen back and she appeared determined to take her life.

“But I do wonder if Helen was on more frequent observations, her death could have been prevented.”

Helen, diagnosed with emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD), was admitted to Westlands in Wheeler Street, west Hull, in March last year.

CCTV footage played at the inquest showed Helen walking from her bedroom into the bathroom about 30 minutes before she was found by staff, who spent 40 minutes trying to save her before she was rushed to Hull Royal Infirmary.

Helen suffered two cardiac arrests & sadly died of her injuries in Hull Royals Intensive Care Unit .

Her husband Jon, who met her at university, said his wife had been bullied at school about her weight and she took overdoses and self-harmed before and after they married in 2008.

But he said: “Helen was not defined by her mental health. I would like her to be remembered for her many qualities.

“She was very loving and caring, she was hard-working, determined and very driven.

“She will be greatly missed, not only by me, but by her family and her many friends.”

He said his wife had suffered setbacks in her ambition to become a teacher despite being assessed as “outstanding” and had started a nursing degree before working as an auxiliary nurse on a cancer ward at Castle Hill Hospital and then in customer services for Hull City Council.

After she was discovered hanging from a ligature by her husband at their home in late February last year, Helen was admitted to the psychiatric intensive care unit at Miranda House and then Westlands, sectioned under the Mental Health Act.

Mr Millard said: “She said she heard voices in her head telling her to kill herself.

“The difficult thing was Helen was able to function well and a lot of the time, Helen appeared OK when she was really struggling and very distressed inside.”

A Jury hearing evidence earlier this week at an , inquest  into the death of Helen Millard
In a statement read out in court, mental health nurse Clare Copeland described Helen as “manipulative”, “argumentative” and “hostile”, attempting to turn members of staff against each other “to achieve her aims”.

She said Helen “uses her personality disorder when she feels she needs it.”

However, staff nurse Sian Owen, who found Helen in the bathroom, said she disagreed with that assessment.

Ms Owen said Helen’s condition had been improving and observations had been reduced to hourly checks as the “least restrictive practice”.
She said more frequent observations frustrated Helen and led to an increase in her tying ligatures around her neck, usually when she was just about to be checked and knew someone would be there to help her.

She agreed with Richard Baker, counsel for the family, that the bathroom was a “danger zone” as Helen frequently tied ligatures around her neck in the bathroom in the evening.

Ms Owen said: “I have gone around this in my mind a million times and there was nothing in that day that made me think something could have been done.”

Shaun Lyth, a health care worker, said if a member of staff had spotted the CCTV footage of Helen going into the bathroom in the nurses’ office that night, they would have checked on her.
I as a suffer from , Emotionally Unstable Borderline Personality Disorder , as well  as Bipolar Affective Disorder do agree in parts , that as part of the illness , some individuals are manipulative in nature & this is a taboo topic amongst personality disorder sufferers  , especially those of the emotionally unstable type . The staff at The Westlands Unit are truly amazing , they are like my 2nd family .

I’m passionate about making a difference & helping others , in any way that I can . I have my own Facebool Support Page , where you can message me , anytime (My Facebook Page) , as well as owning & running this blog . I’m also considering setting up an actual website where people can go for support & perhaps a charity too .

Dear Helen , gone , but never forgotten , R.I.P Sweetheart .


Happy blogging 

Love Becky …