This Is What Having Anxiety Feels Like

Thought Catalog

image - Flickr / Pedro Moura Pinheiro image – Flickr / Pedro Moura Pinheiro

Red baubles spill up out of my canyons, thirsty, expanding. My arm is leaking glitter and ice, hard hot brain firing, a furnace imploding behind two fever eyes. Burnt lips part, expelling sweating smoke snakes. Slip slide, somebody’s crazy. Cray-zay. Everybody stare, hard ice picks, at the cray-zay.

Smoke snakes and coal. I breathe fire; my contribution to the world. Dark things move inside me sometimes, spongy ink patches worming their way across the sheer underside of my skin. I cry needles sometimes. I fill my mouth with bleach and dare myself to swallow. I play chicken in the car and douse my heart in liquor and kerosene until my head blows up like a balloon and my mind stretches out all tight and shiny and I feel nothing and everything and I. Just. Explode.

I laugh like a hyena and…

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